I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
