you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
