just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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