is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
