): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
