Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
