i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
