I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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