Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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