i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize