I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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