I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
