have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dignity is for republicans.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
