that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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