dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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