im drinking this country out of the recession.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
