New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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