if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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