he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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