Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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