Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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