if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
