I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
