i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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