Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
