Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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