its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
