Just fell off a train. Bad.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We don't watch enough power rangers
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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