Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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