my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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