Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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