I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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