That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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