Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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