I love black thongs
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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