Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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