check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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