You're my little dorito
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
