The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
