it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize