The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My dick has a subreddit
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
