we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
