she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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