This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You took a bar mat shot.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
