Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
