i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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