i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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