"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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