well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
