he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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