Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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