Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
