woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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