I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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