Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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