batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
