i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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