My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
