forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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