Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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