Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
