nut hugger
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
