he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
