Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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