Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You were trust falling into bushes
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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